DESIRE


I stood watching him

The breadth of his shoulders 

His beautiful, seductive, intelligent face 

The long, lean, muscled length 

And strength of him

He was the most compelling Man I had ever seen 

Leaving me helpless 

Melting my bones 

From that very first moment 

I….. wanted…..Him.

Spring, 2019

THE SEA WITHIN

Seasick

I wake to the salty tang of it
Dress quickly
Breakfast can wait
Already the pavement burns under
My summer hardened feet
It’s going to be hot
Dropping my towell on the warm sand
I run towards the sparkling waves
Everything shimmers
Silvery/Blue /Green
In the morning sunlight
Running in, diving, gasping
With the shock of cold
The taste of salt
The slap of wavelets
Against my skin……

Then I wake !!!
It was all a dream……

MA Spring 2015

TOO FAR

You’ve gone too far
this time
They say
How far is too far
I ask them then
Is this far enough
And I start covering myself
In layers of
Not far enough
I PILE THEM ON !!!
The weight is unbearable
Heaviness
Claustrophobic
So heavy, my knees give, and
bowed down towards the ground
I give in
Completely
Is this ok I ask, voice dry and broken
Yes…..this is good
Good good girl.

NIGHT SOUNDS part 2

NIGHT SOUNDS…..2

Darkness is at the door, and I, cat comforted with sleeping purring snores…….
Lie listening,
to wind moaning at the corners of my little home,
and old wooden walls that shift and creak and groan…….
a dreaming dog’s muffled whine,
clock ticking, passing time……
my breathing slows to sleeping.
Night flows on, unwatched, uncaring
…………………just being.

MA©️. 2013

ALL THESE THINGS

ALL THESE THINGS…..

And all these things
I thought to say
Were vanished
In a single day

The right
The wrong
The wasted words
I’d hopes
They’d fly
Like freeing
Birds

Sorry
Sorry
What did you think
I’d do
Swim
And swim
And swim
Then
Sink

Floundering
Clumsy
Reaching towards
A possibility
No rewards
Were necessary

And yet
Yes, yet
There was a spark
Of lightness
In the
Dismal dark

Oh you
Yes, you
Who always sought
Such precious
Wonders
Dearly bought

All these things
I’d thought to say
Taste of ashes
Of decay
The thickened
Tongue
The burdened mind
Wilting flowers
Left behind

And ALL these things
Come to nought
All these things
So dearly bought
Love, hate
Dark despair
Vanished in the brightening
Air
Vanished when the
Day is done
When
One is all
And
All is one

MA. Winter 2017

DESIRE

DESIRE, part 5

It’s late in the day
Near Dusk
As I walk across the road
Towards my car
He comes up behind me
Takes hold of my arm
I turn
Melt into him
His smell
Intoxicating
Stubble on his chin
Brushing my face
Cleaving
No control
I breathe him in
Rich
Slightly feral
Masculine….

I hadn’t planned it
The urge
Was
Irresistible
Delicious
Involuntary
Primal

I want him

MA Spring 2017

HEAT

She thought the fire had died
Bent down to clean away
The spent grey ashes
And
Underneath
Surprising her
Still warm
A slow burn
Just waiting
To be kindled

MA. Spring 2016

Ocean Hunger

Whoooooosh, whoooooooosh
Says the incoming tide
As it arrives
Curling, rippling, pleating, folding
Unfurling
Goodbye, goodbye
The seagulls cry
As the tide goes out and out and out
Pulled by the love of the silvery moon
Too soon, too soon
It comes and goes
Ebbs and flows
I cool my toes
Sigh and remember
For I ‘m landlocked
And seasick
For the incoming tide
On which I ride
And dreaming
And dreaming
Of screaming gulls
And a silvery moon
Drifting boats
Too soon, too soon
The tide goes out
It ebbs and flows
In dreams I float
Cooling my toes

MA Summer 2015

photo by Gracie Rose

SORROWS

It was too late
She would never
Reach him
Never be able
To share
The beauty
The power
The tenderness
The heart…..

Blood
Marrow
Bone…..

In the end
Everything
Always
Had to be
Diminished
Trivialized
Turned on it’s
Head
Into something funny
It was too
Late
Now…..

And
Her heart
And soul
Mourned
The knowing…..

It was
Too late
Now

MA. Summer 2017

ANXIETY


ANXIETY….

AT THE WITCHING HOUR,

usually around 4-5 am

The Lizard Brain kicks in

All the unnecessary worries

Damped down during the day 

Rise like hellish demons from the deep

“Why did they leave so early 

Is he angry with me

Did I say something wrong 

Is everyone against me

I can’t stand it

Was it all my fault

What did I do???

I didn’t do anything wrong

I don’t think I can live

One more day like this

I can’t breathe

Will I die in my bed

And the animals go hungry

Till they eat me”???

*****

Sweating

Trembling

Gagging with fear

Throat closing up

She reaches for the loaded gun

Always cocked and ready 

Beneath her pillow 

Pulls the trigger, slowly 

Shoots the Lizard!!!

*****

Takes a long deep breath

Pads down to the kitchen 

In bare feet 

Makes a cup of Tea.

MA©️.            Summer 2018