Seasick

I wake to the salty tang of it
Dress quickly
Breakfast can wait
Already the pavement burns under
My summer hardened feet
It’s going to be hot
Dropping my towell on the warm sand
I run towards the sparkling waves
Everything shimmers
Silvery/Blue /Green
In the morning sunlight
Running in, diving, gasping
With the shock of cold
The taste of salt
The slap of wavelets
Against my skin……

Then I wake !!!
It was all a dream……

MA ©️ Spring 2015

The Weight

TOO FAR

You’ve gone too far
this time
They say
How far is too far
I ask them then
Is this far enough?
And I start covering myself
In layers of
Not far enough
I PILE THEM ON !!!
The weight is unbearable
Heaviness
Claustrophobic
So heavy, my knees give, and
bowed down towards the ground
I give in
Completely
Is this ok I ask, voice dry and broken?
Yes…..this is good
Good good girl.

MA©️ October 2014

The Night Garden

IN THE NIGHT GARDEN…..

I’ve been standing under a high bright moon, surrounded by the peaceful benevolence of all the half lit, shadowy shapes of the plants ….apart from the huge old Peppercorn Tree, every one of them, planted by me. As I grow older, the garden gets wilder, the birds don’t mind that I’ve not weeded….they thrive on the grasses soon to be seeded. Nothing moves here, but light and shadows, as the warmth of Spring makes everything grow, growing daily towards the sun, resting under the moon when the day is done.
Peace on earth.
Goodwill towards men.
I go to my bed
To rest, to sleep
To rise again
From my big oak bed
And go once more
Leaving dreams
I’ve shed
To go
Once more
To the Day Garden.
Circles turning round
And round
Nothing lost
Nothing found
Back in my house
completely surrounded
I’m still cloaked in the comfort
Of the plants
In the ground
The plants that grow
Planted by me
Beneath the benevolent
Old Peppercorn Tree.

Ma©️. SPRING 2018

WINDSONGS

Cold winds, brooding sombre sky
Morning Coffee outside
White plum blossoms drift like snow flakes
As I take my small instrument and play
Moody weather music…..
And I held within its spell, listen
As the wind tells me
Stories of the day.

MA ©️ 16th September, 2014

TIME FLIES

Time Flies, Somewhere Somebody Dies…..

Bracing myself
For the terrifying ravages
Of daily life
The deep dissatisfaction
Of food shopping
Account paying
Who will
If I don’t
Yet, where is there time
To dream
Create
Live life fully
The bed needs fresh clean linen
Weeks ago
Days of dishes
Piled neatly in the sink
No time for Art
For writing the words
Cluttering my mind
Like a swarm of bees
As I think…..

Soft grey clouds
Of shed hair
From cats and dog
Drift about the floor
While I dream of
Culloden moor
Jamie and Claire
How will they fare
And Iris’s want gathering
To plant before
Night falls
My heart calls out
In desolation
For maybe rather
A wild nesting place
Than this domestic socalled grace……

Nick Cave mourns in
Deep soft tones
His heart ‘s love’s
Long Black Hair
And I care
For all and every living soul
While dwelling in
My prison hole
Of hard won security….

Why me
Who’d live like
Beloved Ravens on the wing
Harsh voice broken
As I forget to sing
For daily duty calls
I sip a fiery taste
Of single Malt
Butt out my cherished
Cigarette
And get up
Go out the door
Armed with Iggy Pop
And Lust for life
To fortify me
Against mediocrity
And so
Food shopping
Accounts paying
Into the car
I go

MA. ©️ Winter 2016

WINTER

When morning came
The fog lifted
Cold damp lay upon the world
Frost burnt plants
Sagged sullenly
All hope gone

The ravages of Winter
Scoured sodden ground
Limp, leafless, lifeless
Under a leaden sky
Yet, not so long before
Hot sun beamed down on
Every little thing
And brought forth
New life, teeming

It will be all right

MA. Winter 2017

Land Of Dreams

I dwell in a book
The book dwells in me
I’ve places to go
People to see
But I’m not really there
I go through the motions
Yet my fingertips twitch
To return to the page
I find myself smiling
At secret devotions
At words that I hear
In my quiet inner ear
The world that I know
Is a sorry deception
Hurry up
Let me go
Where’s my book
No reception…..

Go away, go away
I’m reading right now
Go away
Leave me be
The door’s locked
Anyhow.

MA. ©️ Winter 2017

THE FURIES

Unravelling
Like a ball of string
They whirl
Spinning
Endlessly
Spinning
Beyond control
Spitting vengeance
On every soul
On each small thing
Rage
Shame
Who’s to blame
But you
Who else
Who?

Deep in the Forest
I heard the trees
Shift and murmur
Not me
Not me
They stand there
Calling
To their dead leaves
Falling
Not me
Not me

And holding hands
On the Ocean’s sands
We two
In the shimmering blue
Hear the whales call
Who
Who
Look up at the sun
What have you done?
Was it you
Who caused this
Ferocity

Yet the Furies
Keep spinning
Whirling
And grinning
Faces fixed
In a terrible smile
And all of the while
The children weep
In their deep
Dark sleep
Who did this
Who did this
To me

On a cold dark night
I woke in fright
Nightmares
Galloping
Across my dreams
Hideous scenes
Above the screen
Of my tumbled bed
While rivers of blood
So vivid and red
Soaked into the mud
And I struggled, stuck
In silent screams

And the Furies
Kept spinning
Grotesquely
Grinning
Spitting
Terror
And blame
Hatred
And shame
As they whirled
Beyond care
As they crafted
Despair
Screaming you
Yes, you

That’s who…..

MA©️. Winter 2018

FOLLOW THE MUSE

A fragment…..

If it couldn’t be ALL
She would settle for nothing
Middle ground was never an option
In this thing called Living
PAIN…..She’d done her time
An Old Woman now
With a fire still burning
No problem stepping over the line
Into the apocalypse of yearning
Heart Wilded
Still a Child
Her mind a dream
Unfolding
Holding
Holding
Holding
Onto Love….

Don’t blow a fuse
Thinking you’re alone
There is always a Muse
Willing to bring you home
Doesn’t matter how far
Away they are
A brilliant
Shooting Star
Can remedy
The most fractured heart
Tormented mind
Find
Two hands
To hold ….
Enfold
Entice
Your pain away
Your Blessed Muse
Will stay
Will stay with you
Through the thick and thin
Of
Blood
Skin
Flesh
Bone
And sinew
Holding on to You
Holding You….

MA© Winter 2018 (new beginnings)

Photo Edit by Fairlie Sandilands
Original photo by Tony Standish R.I.P.

DESIRE

ON DESIRE, VULNERABILITY AND LOSS……part 2

This Love
Beyond reality or reason
There’s no time here
For fairy tales
My eyes are open
No scales to stop me seeing
For all the pain and pleasure
The poverty and treasure
I’d rather this love
Than any other
This love beyond reality or reason
This love
This gorgeous hell
Tears me
Wide open
My shell shatters
Nothing else matters
And falling,
Falling,
Falling down
I taste desire
It soothes my weary limbs
From all the years
Of journeying
To him

MA ©️ Autumn 2015