Grandpa Jim

He came to me last night
And stood quietly by my bed
A tall man, broad shouldered
Straight back
Wearing a peaked wool cap
Long coat of finest
Harris Tweed
Just like the ones so many men wore
When I was but a child

A think it was my Grandfather
The Ship’s Engineer
His first name was Jim
And I remember him so vividly
When sitting on his knee
And looking at his hands
Especially the gold and sapphire ring
He brought home from his voyages
To India
And he would recite the alphabet for me
To learn Hindustani
I would look into his worn face
Teeth stained brown from Tobacco
And at the same time
Repeat the words I still recall
From long ago

He avoided company
Would quietly cross a room
Slide up the window
Climb out to retreat to
The dim, cool silence
Of his garden shed
I guess we all thought him ill mannered
But now with time and losses of my own
Remembering him sitting smoking
In his favourite chair
I think he really wasn’t there
But back aboard his ship
Feeling the constant rock and sway
Storms, or stillness, or salty spray
Upon his weathered face

He came to me last night
And stood quietly by my bed
Saying nothing, only breathing deep
While I in sleep
Recalled him….a solitary man
Heart torn apart with longing for the sea.

I think he wanted to tell me
He understood
For I too, am sick with it.

MargaretArlen ©️
For Jim, my Grandfather and for my children and their children……
Just now, from mind to fingers to IPad.

TIME

AND LIKE small
Children
We still think
We have time
Time for change
Time to move
Time for Love

But that’s a lie
Is it not???
Time is finite….
And one fine day
Or darkening night
Time will say….
It’s up
That’s it
You’re done!!!

And no one
Can change
What happens
Next

Death who walks
Beside us
Now takes hold
And carries us away….

And no body
Can do a thing
About it !!!

MA. ©️. Summer 2018

Photo by Stuart Edmondson.w

Stormy Weather

THUNDER and RAIN
As the Auld Gods
Roar across the skies
Birds cheeping
Frogs croaking
Dog and Cats inside
Hiding
Fearful of the cataclysm!!!

Not I
This stormy weather
This rooftop music
This longed for change
This coolness
On my skin
This balm from heat.

Yet no wonder
If the animals flee
With sounds like great rocks
Crashing
But for me
The Gods are speaking
And I sit still
And listen.

MA©️. Summer 2018

The Deep

Depths……

As a small child, living by the ocean
I learned how to swim
And then how to teach others
Being submerged in the moving, living, water
Was home, a blessing and a balm
From the dismaying difficulties
Of childhood
As I grew older, it was the depths I craved
Arm over arm, ploughing across the surface
Held no joy
But to dive under
Open eyed in the salty brine
Wriggling underwater like a fish
That was where I belonged
In the deep of it

And so it is in life
I have no appetite
For dwelling on the surface of experience
Give me depth

MA. ©️. Spring 2016

The Deep

Depths……

As a small child, living by the ocean
I learned how to swim
And then how to teach others
Being submerged in the moving, living, water
Was home, a blessing and a balm
From the dismaying difficulties
Of childhood
As I grew older, it was the depths I craved
Arm over arm, ploughing across the surface
Held no joy
But to dive under
Open eyed in the salty brine
Wriggling underwater like a fish
That was where I belonged
In the deep of it

And so it is in life
I have no appetite
For dwelling on the surface of experience
Give me depth

MA. ©️. Spring 2016

Longing


It fills me to the brim
Spills over
Leaks everywhere
A flood,
Once begun
Now rages
Beyond control,
Rising,
Soaking me
To the bone,
The very marrow
LONGING……..
Better you than closed doors and
Tidy feelings
Better you, you, you…..

MargaretArlen ©️
Spring 2014

Train Travel

The rocking forward motion
Dull metallic clinking
Soothing rythmic rolling
Scenes flashing by of Spring green pastures
Sheep flocks grazing
Fence posts leaning
Windmills whirring
Milk cows running
Windbreaks bracing
Silvery creeks rippling

Rocking, clanging, rythmic rolling
Soothing….
Sleeping
zzzzzzzzzzz

MA©️
Spring 2012

Seasick

I wake to the salty tang of it
Dress quickly
Breakfast can wait
Already the pavement burns under
My summer hardened feet
It’s going to be hot
Dropping my towell on the warm sand
I run towards the sparkling waves
Everything shimmers
Silvery/Blue /Green
In the morning sunlight
Running in, diving, gasping
With the shock of cold
The taste of salt
The slap of wavelets
Against my skin……

Then I wake !!!
It was all a dream……

MargaretArlen ©️ Spring 2015

The Weight

TOO FAR

You’ve gone too far
this time
They say
How far is too far
I ask them then
Is this far enough?
And I start covering myself
In layers of
Not far enough
I PILE THEM ON !!!
The weight is unbearable
Heaviness
Claustrophobic
So heavy, my knees give, and
bowed down towards the ground
I give in
Completely
Is this ok I ask, voice dry and broken?
Yes…..this is good
Good good girl.

MA©️ October 2014