“Look … I know it seems outrageous, weird, but before we do ONE MORE THING, you have to sign this” …

He looks at me in disbelief, eyes the legal document with suspicion and distaste, shrugs his shoulders and turns away … but I reach out to him, hold his arm.

“Imagine how it is for me … a single older woman living in a small, deeply conservative country town. People will talk … they always do … and I barely know you.  I understand this seems cold, calculating … but I have to be.

I want you, you know I do.  Just sign the bloody thing will you???  For me!!!”

He shakes his head, his lips tight, shoulders stiff, then takes the document from me, a “non disclosure agreement “, reads it.

“Then, whether you feel like it or not, when questions are asked, and they will be … I am protected.  And you, all you will have done, is give me your word.”

He thrusts it back, won’t look at me, lips tightened in a thin line.

My heart flutters in my chest, but having come this far, I can’t give in.

He has to see how badly I need this very small gesture … a symbol of honour.

She’s learned at her peril, the idiocy of taking people at their word.

“All right … give me the fucking thing”,  takes a pen from an inside pocket and signs his name, hands it back to me, wordless.  Then I take his hand, kiss his fingertips, pocket his promise and ask, “When?”

Then he laughs, grabs me tight, whispers against my mouth, “Now.”

Fear floods me … waves of heat and cold, desire and an overwhelming need to run away … too many years, too long alone, feeling nausea … and the treacherous mind chants in my head “So, so stupid, so deluded.”

But he’s still there, pulls me back into him, stroking my hair, and as suddenly as it has come, the terror is gone.  I wrap my arms around him and whisper, close against his chest.

“Thank you … this means so much to me.”

Excerpt from “Breaking Taboos – An Erotic Fantasy.”