The First Moment


I remember the first time I saw him, as though it was moments ago…..of all the people surrounding him in that work place, he stood out…..not only did he tower over the young boys who brought him to assist me… was so much more than that.

He had a presence about him, an energy, and an undeniable sexuality that made me instantly wary, because he was beautiful, not only In himself but his voice, the swift gracefulness of his movements, and his humour…..a man who laughed easily, who knew he was attractive to women. Silver blonde hair, loose upon his shoulders, lean, verging on thin, I found his presence disconcerting. He was at once, aloof and yet had an easy familiarity about him. We discussed the product I wanted, we discussed other possibilities….the way he spoke, moved, laughed, both encouraged and dismissed more familiarity. I left, unable to find what I needed, but my mind stayed back there in that small moment of intimacy…..

After that, I found myself looking for him, fighting the feeling, pushing it down, and failing utterly. In a matter of moments he had got right under my skin.

And as happens, there were coincidences where his car pulled up beside mine, as I arrived to do shopping…..Always holding back, I would smile, or return his greeting, my heart beating heavy in my chest, breath quickening.

He obviously had another job, as he worked in that place for a few brief hours, several days a week; so I tried to avoid him, or attempted to. But he was there, a seed sown in the deep recesses of my mind, and I found he was very aware of me, sensed my unspoken attraction to him, liked it, liked to feel my eyes on him. 

So, I turned away.