She takes hold of my arm as I turn to go….
“He’s with me, he’s mine”
This outburst brings me sudden joy and unexpected laughter, that this gorgeous young woman considers me a threat….and responding
“I know you have something going on with him, yet I doubt he’s yours, or anybody’s….but, if he offers himself to me, then for that moment in time, he’s mine…….he is mine; not because I am taking him from you, but because he is giving himself to me….and that is a gift I am grateful for….no matter how quickly it passes….or the loss of him when he is gone, but for that time alone with him, he is mine….all mine.”
(this is clearly my lie to myself…it is a visceral thing, the joining of two bodies, not easily parted from)
I gently take her hand off me….she sees clearly in my eyes looking back at her, the truth of it, lowers her lovely thick lashes, trying to hide what is already seen….triumph fading to acknowledgement.
Quietly, I say “He gives himself to me, because he saw that I was starving….an act of love, yes, love of a kind….and generosity.”