Eternal Lovers

In This Moment

Denial
Recognition
Heat
Her thoughts of a frantic husband
His memory of the warmth of her body
On that long, long ride
On that dark, wet night
Forced back into some strange normality
They are separate, yet linked
The bindings of twin souls
He knows it, and so does she
They are children of the stars
From now, for all Eternity

MA©️

Spring 2020

ROGER and JAMIE

ROGER AND JAMIE……

I FELL IN LOVE WITH JAMES FRASER through Claire’s eyes; as the main narrator she describes him in such fine detail, I know the essence of the man….through Diana’s descriptive prose and my very keen sense of smell, I too could pick him out of a crowded room of men, simply by his smell……a mixture of coffee, whisky, gunpowder, horses and manure, his sweat…..the deep male smell of him. His long graceful bones, the way his mane of copper russet bronze and auburn hair, lifts in stray wisps about his face, because he is either fiercely animated, or like a lions mane, falling around his shoulders in the frenzied passion of love making.
The quirk of his mouth, his wry humour, courage, honour and accomplishments.
A unique talent for absorbing both people, learning and languages into his life.
A man of big passions, ferocious loyalties and all encompassing generosity.

I FELL IN LOVE WITH JAMIE through Claire’s eyes, until so deeply absorbed in the “more real than life” story, Claire fell away. I was Claire…..living, loving, breathing him in, waiting for him to return from battle, from hunting, from visits with neighbouring Cherokee or working alongside him, and healing him.

AND THEN I FELL IN LOVE AGAIN, through Roger’s eyes. Roger knows Jamie when he arrives at Frasers Ridge….Roger, the “dog with a bone” Historian, has been hearing Claire’s story, researching Jamie’s History…..Culloden, Ardsmuir, Helwater. He has already developed a relationship with Jamie, two hundred years before he meets him (Yes my mind gets tied in knots too)!!! Before Claire leaves Inverness for the second time, Roger finds her fast asleep in the Reverend Wakefield’s Study, clutching the Ardsmuir Prison Records to her breast, her heart….he has a deep affection for Claire, and says to her sleeping figure, and to the long dead Jamie, “I don’t know who you were mate”, he whispered to the unseen Scot, “but you must have been something, to deserve her.”

And then there follows the catastrophic mess, through Lizzie’s mistaking Roger for the monster who has violated Brianna…..we know what follows, and once the two men have come to terms with each other, something beautiful happens.

ROGER AS NARRATOR won me over in a completely new way. He sees Jamie from a very different perspective. There’s understandingly, in the beginning, lingering resentment, but that changes subtly to begin with, as the two men take the measure of each other. I’m often brought to unexpected tears, by Roger’s reference to Jamie as “the big Scot.”
Why should that make me cry??? I think it’s the knowledge of how much suffering that big body has gone through….and, for some reason those words are a trigger for tears.
Roger refers to Jamie’s “panther like grace”, he wants his approval, and can’t help the jealousy he experiences around Jamie. One vivid description is of Jamie standing back, eyeing Roger dispassionately, as though he were buying a bullock at the saleyards. This comes about when Roger asks him “Teach me to fight.” There’s some brilliantly witty dialogue that follows with Jamie telling Roger he had his first sword at five…..Roger had a toy train with a red engine at the same age. But Roger is equally stubborn, also a man of learning and finally a deal is made. He describes his first experience with “the art of the sword, with Jamie Fraser as his opponent, as like fighting a cloud.”
But Jamie develops a strong affection and respect for Roger, and during the Ritualised Ceremony of The Fiery Cross, when Jamie calls out to him, “Come stand by me, Roger Jeremiah, son of my house”, there is a fierce pride and a belonging, a love for his Warrior Father-in-Law.

There is too much to include here. Roger as Narrator, brings James Fraser to life, in vivid detail that naturally is completely different to Claire’s. A man’s observation that also at times is unemotionally clinical in his Historian’s viewpoint of Jamie.

I LOVED JAMIE FRASER EVEN MORE, viewing him through Roger’s descriptive narration.

MargaretArlen ©️. Wednesday Writings
Spring, Central Victoria, Australia 2019.

References from Diana Gabaldon
And thanks to the talented Vera Adxer for her fabulous Art.

PRESTONPANS

The Parting Kiss

“Fighting gives y’ a terrible cockstand,”
He’d once said when first we wed
And now, he clutches me against his young body
So full of all the things men feel
When going off to war

I open my mouth to his kiss
His tongue making love to me
Hear the small urgent sounds in his throat
Feel his need pressing hard against my belly
And in this moment, I could lift his kilt
Take him in….hold him, keep him safe
From every thing that would take him away from me

But he pulls apart, eyes filled with regret
Turns, and at the door, pauses
Bows deep, turns again
Walks through the door to join his men

And I stand, left bereft
Still feeling his need, his heat
Now hearing the sickening sounds of war
And pray “Dear God above, protect this man I love
For I am bound now, heart, soul and body
I love hm more than words can say

Bring him home to me
By the closing of this day.”

MA©️

First line from Diana Gabaldon’s Outlander

Never My Love

REVISITING MONSTERS AND HEROES …..

The Tunnel

Ashen faced, laboured breathing
I watched him helplessly
Beside his bed
Saw his vital signs
Receding
Felt him leaving me
watching him
Helpless, helplessly
And
Gathering all the strength I had
To offer up to him
My mind reached into his
Willing, willing him

”Come back my love, come back
Stay with me
For did you not say
You’d never leave me?
You would always be here by my side?
Don’t go my love, don’t give in”
Can barely bear to lay my trembling hands
Upon him
Afraid he’ll feel my fear
So near death, now
I hear the steady beating of dark wings
Nothing to heal him with now
And I the notorious White Lady
Useless now, as I stand stricken upon this earth
Feeling him….slowly…letting…..go
Losing my courage, I am losing everything
“Healer, heal thyself”
From some place far away these words come to me
And a tiny spark of hope and courage

“Jamie, my love, what can I do”?
Did I think the words from my mind
To his….or perhaps I simply whispered them
But he turned his gaze upon me
“Claire, I am so very cold….
Touch me.”
Then I knew what was needed
And tore my shift off hurriedly
Lay full length upon his ice cold flesh
Reached, reached down to find his heat
Held him then, felt the faintest pulse
Slowly beating
Held him, moved with him
My hand, his heart
The pulse between us slowly beating
My body melting into his
One flesh
No longer he, nor me
One flesh, one huge heart’s pulse
Beating, beating
His body heat returning
That distant inward look receding

He’s turned back from the stars
That refuge he was seeking
Beneath my body’s heat
His great heart beats a steady rhythm
Eyes return my gaze
I kiss his pale beloved face
And death drifts through the open door
Leaving us alone once more
“Not this time you bastard !!!
He’s still mine, dear God
Still mine.”
And as he succumbs to healing sleep,
Arms still wrapped around him,
I can finally let go….and weep.”

For Claire and Jamie

MargaretArlen ©️
Spring, Central Victoria, Australia 2020

Two different Stories

Two photos, so similar yet so very different.

JAMIE FRASER on the left is full of hope, curiosity, desire, and a firm conviction that Claire will be his. They have just dismounted after that long, wet ride…..”her lovely round arse tucked tight between his thighs.”
The warmth of her body still lingers, the smell of her surrounds him….but she is English, a Sassenach, so there is wariness mixed with wanting.
She insists on tending his wounds, so he follows her into the Castle, discreetly adjusting his plaid.

JAMIE FRASER on the right is hungry, haggard, full of desperation and despair. Everything he and Claire have worked SO HARD to stop, is coming at them. He is boiling with anger, as minutes before, the Bonnie Prince left him, stating “Today is the day, James.”
(Who among us didn’t want to strangle him with our bare hands)?
And soon after, at the Standing Stones with Claire; my skin prickles all over as I write the words down, he tells her “My destiny lies on Culloden Moor.”
So much grief between them, between us….it flows over.
Nothing can contain the loss we feel.

Diana lifts us up, fills us with joy….then plunges us into the abyss.
All is lost….or so it seems.
Except….it isn’t.
I will never tire of this Story……Their Story.

MA ©️

“Quotes from Diana Gabaldon

Trust

There is beauty
In the sweep of his eyelids
Graceful as bird’s wings

He’s let go
Given in….
For these precious moments
He’s surrendered….

Past trauma
Memories of a dank prison cell
The bone cold chill of his cave
Agonising torture
Endless pain
Fear for his family
The oncoming war
Loneliness and separation
Trouble and strife

Gone,
Gone from him now

In these moments
She owns him
Body, soul and mind
Given freely
His gift of trust….
He knows he can let go now
And she will hold him
Enfold him
Bring him peace

Eyes closed in surrender
He trusts his life
To the healing touch
Of his beloved wife.

MargaretArlen ©️
Spring, Central Victoria, Australia 2020

YOU’RE MINE

“You’re mine, mo duinne,” he said softly, pressing himself into my depths.
“Mine, alone, now and forever.
Mine, whether ye will it or no.”
I pulled against his grip and sucked in my breath with a faint “ah” as he pressed even deeper.
“Aye, I mean to use ye hard, my Sassenach,” he whispered.
“I want to own you, to possess you, body and soul.”
I struggled slightly and he pressed me down, hammering me, a solid, inexorable pounding that reached my womb with each stroke.
“I mean to make ye call me “”Master””, Sassenach”
His soft voice was a threat of revenge for the agonies of the last minutes.
“I mean to make you mine.”

Outlander
The Reckoning
Page 444
Diana Gabaldon

Anyone reading this excerpt without knowing the whole story, without having read my other writings, could understandably be appalled….for it is so easy to misinterpret what Diana is offering us, in the above. For what has gone before (in the Book version of the Reckoning), to bring Jamie and Claire to this passionate scene. For my response to those two simple words, “You’re mine.” “YOU’RE MINE.”

I wonder how many other women crave to be claimed in such a way.
Claire is Jamie’s equal in all ways, except strength…..there is so much power in those words. He has already vowed he will protect her with his body, so she knows when she is with him, she is safe. But she will never be as physically strong as Jamie….why would she wish to be?

Something happened to us all, men and women during the “sexual revolution,” so much of it good and necessary…..but so….much…..lost.
Roles reversed, Men became unsure of their roles within marriage, within the family…..and many woman began to emulate men, losing their vital femininity along the way.
Many men were completely emasculated by the sexual politics of the time.
From my observations, we haven’t recovered from those years, yet.
For a man to say “You’re mine”, could be interpreted as a form of intimidation and abuse in our society.

Yet Claire owns Jamie, equally.

When she playfully says “Yes, Master” he understands her love for him, her need, desire to be possessed completely, and moments later, he whispers to her, “It seems I canna possess your soul, without losing my own.”

Those words have a very strong effect on me….I long to have a man who is strong enough, confident enough of himself to say, “You’re mine.” Otherwise what are we, after all…..anybody’s?
To be claimed by someone you love and desire, in this deep visceral way, has tremendous attraction to me.

I WANT SOMEONE SO STRONG IN HIMSELF, TO WANT ME….ONLY ME.

So much lost in the battle for equality….and we will NEVER be equal, because men are by nature, the stronger sex. And when Claire is kidnapped and brutally beaten and raped, Jamie’s words, “KILL THEM ALL.” (my final photo), is his way of showing she is now safe….the slow journey to healing and recovery begins from these words, and leading her around the clearing, showing her, “See, they are ALL dead.”

We need honourable, courteous Gentlemen in our lives, but let’s not kill off the necessary savage that lies at the heart of many men. Soldiers, Hunters, Warriors…..we need that true original part of all men to live again, to own us as we own them, but to give us their protection.

Those blessed words, “You’re mine” pierce me to my core, with longing.
“Where are the men of old, did they all fade away as women tore their bras off and burned them. Things had to change, but the pendulum swung too much the other way.”

The Warrior/Hero is what all strong women crave.

Say those words to me.
“you’re mine,” and so it will be.

THAT IS THE MOST POWERFUL ATTRACTION OF JAMIE FRASER.
HE KNOWS CLAIRE OWNS HIM, AS HE OWNS HER.
SHE HAS THE STRENGTH OF THE HEALER, THE WISE WOMAN, LOVING WIFE AND MOTHER…..BUT HE IS A MAN, A WARRIOR…..HER PROTECTOR.

Here is the power and magic of this Story….two equals, who acknowledge both their strengths and their weaknesses…..and support each other.

MargaretArlen ©️.
Summer, Central Victoria, Australia 2019

Photo belongs to STARZ

The Frasers

He stands behind her
Guarding her back
There’s both softness
Strength and a steadfastness
In his beautiful face
In the way he faces the world
Whatever is coming
He’ll be ready, he always has been
Hasn’t he….

And she, she has that same strength
In her femininity
Her beautiful face hides her ruthless courage
Sharp as a blade when needed
For both healing and protection
He for her
And she for him
Mirrors of each other’s iron will
And whether in the bedroom
Or the battlefield
Soulmates still
In flesh, in blood, in bone.

Nothing can part these lovers
Not even death
They are invincible, as one
Guarding each other’s back
Bringing each other home.

MA©️ The Frasers
On #Fraser Friday

Claire

He was rain soaked
Blood smeared
And wounded
When we dismounted…..
The chill air came down
Engulfing me
For we had been riding
Through long nights and days
I had already become used to the ways
Of him
His voice, his smell
The heat of him….
And lowered my eyes
That he might not see
My wanting him.

For despite the strangeness
Of this time and place
I could hardly bear to feel the space
That now separated me from him…..

He was rain soaked
Blood smeared
And wounded…..
And I could barely wait
To lay my healing hands on him
To walk through that grim Castle door
And feel once more
The heat of him.

MargaretArlen ©️
For Jamie and Claire

GRANDA

GRANDA

🧡🧡🧡

Everybody loved him
Claire, the heart and soul of him
Knew him for who he was
Needed to be

A bloody man
A warrior born and bred
But at home, at rest
He was kindness itself
Husband, Father, Chieftain
Provider, Protector
Laird

But to the children
Who he sat upon his knee
He was simply “Granda”
As he told them stories
Wiped away their tears
As they vied for his attention
As they plaited his hair

“Granda”
As he lifted one upon his shoulders
Held the smallest girl’s hand
“Oh aye”, he said
To each of them
Crowding all around him
Handing each a sweet
Teaching them to swim
To hunt
To fish

Then looking up
He sees Claire watching
From her Surgery window
Lovelight in her eyes
Her secret smile
Feels himself quicken
Still burns for her
A sudden need…..
Returns the smile….with interest

“Oh aye”, he says again
“Now off wi’ ye and play
Yer Grannie needs me”
They turn, running, tumbling, squabbling
But he hears nothing
But her soft, steady breathing
As she reaches up
Removes the spectacles from his tousled auburn head
Takes him by the hand
And leads him to their bed.

🧡🧡🧡

MargaretArlen ©️

Summer, Central Victoria, Australia 2019